Happy Tuesday Everyone!

While I usually post at the end of every week, I will occasionally do so at other times when I am moved to do so or for special announcements. Today is a supersized combo of the two! First, I want to welcome all my new subscribers to Nancy Tells All, and thank my existing friends for continuing to support my passion! Like Southwest Airlines says, I know there are many choices out there, and all kidding aside I am truly grateful that you have chosen to follow my blog! If you’d like to get an idea of what NancyTells All is all about, (aside from reading everything I’ve ever written in your free time!) you can check out my first posting here.

I also want to support other sites that I am honored to be contributing to as well, so please check them out! Huffingtonpost.com, hopeafterdivorce.org, purposefairy.com, suddenlysolo.org, lafamily.com, and cupidspulse.com.

Below is my most recent article that appeared on purposefairy.com. I hope it resonates with you in some way, and that you’ll ‘Like,’ ‘Tweet,’ and ‘Share!’ Have a great few days and I’ll see you at the end of the week!

With Gratitude,

Nancy

 The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. What is grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion.  ~Lao Tzu

Are you carrying emotional baggage from one relationship to another? Just like schlepping an overstuffed Samsonite, it will cost you, make your journey more difficult, and could prevent you from making a successful connection!

Relationships are a bit of a dance, and in order to remain light on our feet, we need to shed the dead weight of the issues that continue to plague us. The tango is a dance in which two people either move together in the same direction or in opposition to each other. Perhaps this is why the phrase ‘it takes two to tango’ is so often used when referring to relationships.

While it does take two to make or break a relationship, we need to hold ourselves accountable for our responsibility as it relates to its success, or its collapse. As we all know, to keep a long-term relationship moving forward takes much effort. If it ends, and we don’t look deeply into our actions or inactions that played a role in the demise, then we are simply setting ourselves up for another relationship with an expiration date.

Be honest with yourself.

Do you have trouble communicating?

If so, then ask yourself: Is it easier to get divorced than it is to make the effort to listen to her, to show her attention so she feels you ‘get’ her and that she is a priority?

Are you emotionally unavailable?

If so, then ask yourself: Would you rather be alone than experience an emotionally strong connection because it’s built on vulnerability?

Are you a workaholic?

If so, then ask yourself: Would you rather end the relationship than work a little less so you have enough energy to provide him with the intimacy he requires to feel connected?

Do you make excuses (you call them reasons) for not being where you want to be in your life?

If so, then ask yourself: Would you rather stay single than step up and do what it takes to improve your lifestyle?

I’ve heard people say, “I’d have to change who I am, and I’m not willing to do that.”

I ask, is changing your behavior the same as changing who you are? Is making an effort to show you care, changing your personality? Granted, if you enjoy working on cars, you won’t be happy in a three-piece suit… but that’s not the same as being willing to learn the tools that will help you change and grow. These tools could very well prevent you from going to the pit for a tire change every few laps around the track!

We will keep getting the same results if we keep doing the same things! (Yes, also known as insanity). Hard as we try to ignore them, the lessons we are supposed to learn in this life will continue to boomerang right back in our face until we come face to face with them. This applies to many areas of our lives including our work, weight, familial or intimate relationships.

Our issues will follow us from relationship to relationship and will not go away until you tackle them head on!

Some possible demons to consider:

Limiting beliefs

Fear of vulnerability

Procrastination

Lack of Self Esteem

Lack of Awareness

You can blame your parents, your metabolism, your partner, your age, or the economy. You can blame your boss, or your dog who ate your homework for what’s not right in your life. Or you can figure out your role in how and why your story keeps playing out the way it does. You can re-write your script, dump the baggage, and be the hero in your story. It’s the only way to fly!

There’s a luggage limit to every passenger on a flight. The same rules apply to your life. You must eliminate some baggage before you can fly. ~Rosalind Johnson