This blog is brought to you by my experience with a miserable, rude, nasty, angry old man who, for whatever reason, needed to verbally barf all over me two days in a row.

Allow me to explain. I deal with the public day in and day out in my day job. (Gotta have one until this makes me famous!). The other day, said man approached me saying he was in a rush, so I attempted to answer his questions post haste. But first, to be considerate of the woman waiting behind him, I informed her that I would be with her shortly. The man did not like this, and he began yelling at me, firing off accusations that I was rude, rushing him, and didn’t want to help him. The rest of his rant was a blur of white noise. All I saw was his angry face contorting in slow motion, and his eyes spewing venom. As he bolted away, the lady and I looked at each other and she said in astonishment,  “What is the matter with him, he was so rude to you!”

The next day he approached me again, and silly me, I figured he was coming to apologize! Instead, he began ‘Treating Nancy Like a Piece of Shit, The Sequel.’ He was pointing his finger in my face, telling me that I was rude to him and that he should have reported me. I told him I would be happy to assist him in doing so if he wished, which seemed to piss him off even more. Not gonna lie, that felt good.

For the most part, the people I meet are not argumentative manic assholes like this douche bag. (Did I just say that out loud?) Many are annoying, or have an obscene sense of entitlement, but his level of anger was disturbing and a little hard to shake.

It was then I remembered a blog I wrote a couple years ago for another publication, entitled, “The Moment Before.” I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I should read my own blogs so that I can do as I say and not as I sometimes do. So I went back into my documents, re-read it, and would like to share some of it with you. And to the jackass, I say, happy trails!

The Moment Before

We are all responsible for our thoughts and what we won’t let go of, but it’s the stuff that others so kindly unload on us that we have no control over. We do, however, have control over how we react, as I always tell my children. Whether it’s someone’s attitude, their lack of attention or their words, we have the choice as to how we react and whether or not we let it bother us.

This brings me to the concept of ‘the moment before.’ When in a situation where someone’s behavior takes you off guard, be they rude, irrational, angry, or somehow inappropriate, stop and think what may have happened to that person the moment before– the moment before they unloaded on you. Maybe someone upset them, or maybe they are stressed over something that has nothing to do with you. That moment of consideration may take your mind set from making it all about you, to what might be so distressing for this other person. This helps to create some compassion and could avoid making the situation worse.

For any of us, ‘the moment before’ can create our mindset for the rest of the day, week, or longer depending on how long we hold on to what occurred in that moment. If your boss approaches you rifling off all the things that are wrong and neglects to mention that you exceeded your goals, if family judgments become overbearing, if a client is miserable and has nothing but complaints, what do you do?

Three simple words: Let it go! Simple to say, not always so easy to do! I should know, I’m working on it myself and progress is slow…but sure.  All I can say is to remember that we don’t have control over others. They will not behave the way we would like them to, so we have a choice; we can adjust or stay upset.

Let it go, let it go, let it go. A good mantra I’d say.

When I wrote about my mom and posted the video of her playing Chopin several weeks ago (Is it Ever Too Late? Watch and See…), I knew that many people would be inspired. I had no idea, however, how her story and her piano would move people…to tears, to reflect, to share their feelings AND their stories.

Because of the overwhelming response, I have decided to occasionally share other people’s stories that motivate and inspire. Since the idea of ‘It’s Never Too Late,’ has touched so many, I will begin with this theme and eventually include other kinds of stories including those of enduring love, faith and courage, etc.

Before I introduce Barbara’s story below, I invite you to please write me at nancy@nancytellsall.com with your story, or of someone you know who has found passion later in life. Whatever that looks like, be it new or renewed love, music, art, travel, hidden talents etc. please help me to share uplifting stories of hope, determination, and passion. (You may remain anonymous if you prefer).

Ladies and Gentleman, this is Barbara sharing her story with us:

“I am 68 years old. About two years ago I realized, that after 15 years of being in the network marketing business, it was time to put it on the shelf. I decided to take time off and take life day by day for a while. People kept asking me what I was doing and I told them that I was just enjoying life. I said I felt there was something I was meant to do and believed it would show up when the time was right.

When I was a child I used to draw and in high school I started to draw people’s faces using only pencils. I drew some of my friends and I remember drawing my history teacher during class when I was bored. In fact, I still have that drawing. That was the last time I drew, until 10 months ago…

I decided to do a Google search for drawing teachers and found a website called, “Five Pencil Method”. Voila! It focused on drawing portraits with pencils. It was like it was made for me!! I dove in and watched all the free tutorials, practiced learning the 5 Pencil Method and did all the basic exercises. I invested in some of the DVD’s, and then to my delight, discovered there was a live online class every Thursday where you actually got your homework critiqued by the teacher who is an amazing unbelievable artist! (www.fivepencilmethod.com, artist and teacher, Darrel Tank.). When I saw his work it looked like photographs, not drawings. My first thought was, how can anyone draw like that?

Well, here it is 10 months later and since I began following his method I have drawn 5 portraits (see below!), plus many homework assignments and people actually think my work is good!

So, it seems that ‘that something’ showed up and I am having such a good time drawing. Here I am, now a senior, having the time to pursue a wonderful hobby that might turn in to something more! Time will tell, but I learned that it is never too late to start something new. Age means nothing!!”

I want to thank Barbara for sharing her story and her incredible drawings! As I was getting this ready for publication, the movie Legally Blonde was on TV. It was the end where Reese Witherspoon gives her speech at the Harvard graduation. I found it quite timely (again there are no coincidences), and feel it is a great sentiment to end this post:

“Passion is a key ingredient to the study and practice of law and of life. It is with passion, courage of conviction and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world remembering that first impressions are not always correct. You must always have faith in people and most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself.”

Send me your story!

Balance. It’s just the right mix of the dirty and the martini, the spaghetti and the meatballs, the hot fudge and the sundae. Right?!

Or to be more legit, but not quite as deliciously descriptive (in my humble opinion), three definitions from Merriam-Webster:

1. an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements
   +
2. stability produced by even distribution of weight on each side of the vertical axis
   ——————————————————————
3. mental and emotional steadiness

While Webster didn’t exactly provide the definitions in this format, it definitely adds up. When we can balance the different aspects of our lives (children, love life, work, family obligations, spiritual/religious time, chores, pets, returning phone calls, texts, and tweets, paying bills, and oh yes, relaxing), we will have mental and emotional steadiness.

Ha!

Is it possible to find a way for the scales of our life to teeter gently up and down at center instead of swinging drastically out of whack?

“Go, find balance. Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life. Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand?—Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid

What is balance?? It’s something we all talk about, but perhaps it’s nothing more than an illusion. As a woman who is also a mother, I can say that it has been very difficult to maintain what society believes to be a balanced life, and to feel valued. The not so subliminal societal expectations that women can or should ‘do it all’ are constantly lurking above. Professional success (annual income) seems to always weigh more heavily on the scale. This creates a sense of imbalance…from the outside.

Hence, I feel that balance must come from the inside, despite messages from the media or even our nearest and dearest. When my kids were young, I discovered that I needed to get my butt back on stage to feed my passion. I succeeded by doing regional theatre and was finally flying at a comfortable altitude, until my husband asked, “When are you going to start getting paid for this?” Needle in balloon. Balance averted.

Forget struggling for balance/societal acceptance. There is no way that we can feel a sense of calm if we’re always trying to satisfy others…whether we are women trying to be everything to everybody, or men trying to be strong, yet sensitive providers.

Look inside yourself. We human beings come equipped with an internal barometer. When your barometer is in balance, you’ll know. If something doesn’t feel right, pay attention, no matter what anyone says.

What is balance? For me, it is giving ourselves permission to be authentically who we are. Find what makes you happy, and figure out a way to incorporate that into your life, whether you make money from it or not. Respect your internal barometer, and provide yourself with a sense of equilibrium. Perhaps if we do, there would be a shift creating a more universal feeling of alignment and harmony.

I welcome any thoughts or comments you may have!

I am about to begin typing, my hands poised to write this week’s blog, and… nothing. I try again. Nothing.

Fingers in position, ready to tickle my keyboard, and all I see is the blank Word doc staring back at me.

“What?” I say to the computer as if it’s looking at me funny. And then it hit me. It was the big white metaphor in the room. This empty white cyber Word doc is a reminder that we all have the opportunity, at any time, to start with a clean slate.

Coincidentally (if you believe in coincidences), Wednesday at sunset Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, began. As the sun set with its colors illuminating aspects of our lives, and casting shadows on the unknown, we look to a new year. This is viewed not as an extension of the year before, but as a new creation; a blank page so to speak.

It is said that if we honestly regret our misbehaviors and make a plan to improve for the next year, apologizing to God and others we have hurt, then God erases entirely the previous year, as if you never did anything wrong. It’s as if we broke a glass which we know can’t be put back together, but God gives us an entirely new glass. It is also believed that all of our good acts are being held in a bank for us, never to be erased.

While I myself don’t know if all this is true, it sounds great to me. How often have we wished that we could just erase things we’ve done or said? Or have felt that we have not taken the opportunities to live to our potential? No matter our religious beliefs, taking the time to reflect on our behaviors, and making a conscious choice to improve as human beings is not a burden but a gift.

When I first began writing on this empty page I saved it to another computer to complete when I got home, but when I opened the attachment to write, the document was blank. Just like the last time the computer seemingly wigged out on me, I immediately became frustrated and upset, wondering why technology was creating obstacles in my path to finishing my creation. It took me a day to realize what had literally been staring me right in the face. This blank page was a big reminder that it is time to start with a clean slate. It made me realize that things that appear to be obstacles getting in our way can be opportunities to look at life differently.

At this time I wish for everyone, Jewish or not, to find a time to reflect, feel gratitude for life’s blessings, the strength to choose happiness and love, the ability to see obstacles as opportunities, and to have a ton of fun filling up your pages that are yet unwritten!