The other day I got a voicemail from a long-time friend. She told me she read something funny that reminded her of me, and she had to call to tell me. Hearing this and the smile in her voice put a big one on my face, and in my heart.

Every single day we make a difference in the lives of others whether we realize it or not. A smile, holding the door open, giving someone a parking place, or not; being patient with a senior, listening to a child, returning someone’s call; or not, or just saying hello, can make a difference in a person’s day. For better or worse, our actions and words have a ripple effect, stirring a person’s pool of emotions. This current continues flowing, affecting more and more people throughout the day, or even longer.

We must be aware that our behavior (whether it’s pleasant, loving, curt, or judgmental) has a domino effect, and we must realize that we each have a responsibility and a choice as to how we wish to make a difference. Will we perpetuate consideration and respect, or will we perpetuate discrimination and hypocrisy?

It is my observation that how we behave or what we say, is often provoked by the differences between us. Differences such as lifestyles and religious beliefs are at the core of many conflicts from an international level to the family dinner table.

I was recently invited over for dinner to join a group of people whose lifestyles, dress, hair, diets, and beliefs were very different. As it happens when people with differing perspectives gather together, the conversation became quite, shall we say, spirited.

This was a microcosm of the world in its diversity, and it raised many questions in my mind: Why must some people judge others and how they choose to live, believing their way is the right way, and everyone else is wrong? Why can’t we all have our own opinions without feeling the need to prove we’re right, or to try and make others believe the way we do? We don’t have to understand, agree, or even like it, but as long as no one is being hurt or abused, shouldn’t we try to accept other lifestyles?

No one way of life should be more respected than another. If you say you wish to be accepted by friends and family for who you are and what you believe, then don’t bash their lifestyle from the other side of your mouth. If you say you don’t want to be judged, then don’t judge others. If you want to be treated with respect, then for goodness sake, show some respect for others! It has to go both ways. Don’t be a hypocrite. I think this literally defines it:

Hypocrite: a person who claims or pretends to have certain beliefs about what is right but who behaves in a way that disagrees with those beliefs.

Having an awareness of how we treat others is also crucially important for the next generation. Hate and discrimination are taught from generation to generation. This is one reason why we have so much hate in the world, and it starts at home. As Steven Sondheim brilliantly wrote:

Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful the things you do
Children will see and learn

If we wish for a better world, we must start within our own. If you wish for your relationships with family or friends to be more cohesive, loving, respectful and non-judgmental, then lead by example. Why, I ask, within our own families, would we allow our differences to create a wall so high and wide that it permanently divides us?

So, once again, it all comes down to choice. We can decide to try and make a positive difference in people’s lives every day, or not. We can decide to allow our differences to come between us, or not. Remember, however, that your choice will have a ripple effect affecting not only those who travel in your wake, but as the current continues, it will find its way rippling right back to you.