Once upon a time… there were two women, Nancy and Robin, living in Laguna Niguel, CA., just 5 minutes from each other. They belonged to the same Synagogue, had sons the same age, were both performers from way back, but had never met. Then, one day, the Cantor of their Synagogue called Nancy into her office explaining that there was to be the greatest event in all the land to celebrate the new home for the congregation. She asked Nancy if she would sing and if her mom, Elaine, musician and composer extraordinaire, would create a musical show to entertain at this big event. The Cantor also told Nancy that there was another woman she wanted to include, and her name was Robin.

Upon first meeting, Nancy and Robin were cordial, eyeing each other up and down as two dogs might when they first meet at the dog park. Short of peeing on a tree to claim her territory, Nancy made it very clear which song was to be hers, and Robin paraded about with a very sparkly rhinestone belt buckle that she would one day protest she never wore.

The show was received so well, that Nancy and Robin (soon to become Robin and Nancy) were asked to do a show for an annual dinner the following spring. Necessity being the mother of invention, Elaine, Nancy and Robin created a 45 minute show entitled “These Are The Good Old Days!,” A Musical Sketch Comedy. It was the Carol Burnett Show meets Saturday Night Live, and it was a huge success. So much so, that the three ladies went back to the writing board and it became a 90 minute show called, “Shtick Happens!” “Shtick” played for 3 months in West Hollywood, a month at a dinner theatre in Orange County CA., and at various events from the Bay Area, to Southern California to Minneapolis.

There’s an old saying, “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” The journey of creating this show was something these ladies would never have anticipated. It was a life altering experience. Writing and rehearsing for the show was not only creatively enlightening and exhilarating, but personally profound. They laughed so hard they were falling off their chairs, rolling on the floor. They cried singing of their Yiddishe Mammas and to their fathers. They ate cake at midnight, danced until dawn as Robin tried to teach Nancy how to tell her right foot from her left. They sang together in harmony, producing a musical sound that critics called magical. Separately they were great, together they were brilliant.

It was a wonderful run. Then as life happens, the show came to an end but their friendship lived on through thick and thin, because no matter what, they were meant to go through this show called “life” together. In a span of 13 years these two women who were once not sure if they even liked one another, became sisters. Sisters who share a deep unbreakable love and respect for one another.

Now, these two sisters must say goodbye. Well, goodbye to life as they know it. Robin is spreading her wings and flying far away to begin a new life. Undoubtedly, their kinship will continue and will not be diminished by the miles between them; but knowing this doesn’t stop the tears from flowing or make the weight of the loss any lighter.

Nancy will miss Robin terribly and wishes her the ‘happily ever after’ that she so deserves.

Not The End.

Play below to see ‘Shtick’ in action! Here’s to you Robbie!

This article was originally published on YourTango.com, the premier media company dedicated exclusively to love and relationships, and I am now able to publish it on NancyTellsAll! Life takes us on a ride filled with twists and turns, devastating drops, tunnels of love, fun escapades and catch your breath moments. We all have stories to tell, and I think that we can  learn from each other by sharing our experiences. YourTango agreed:

I dreamed the other night that my kids told me my ex-husband, their father, was getting remarried and buying a million dollar home in Maui. “Oh, must be nice!” I responded sarcastically to this breaking news. I immediately felt bad for allowing my sixth-grade schoolyard voice to speak out loud, but I felt such resentment and jealousy that he was living high on the roasted pig with Miss Newby, and I was still struggling financially as a single mom. Then I woke up, and those feelings were all too real.

It was becoming apparent that my mind was spending way too much time on what was lacking in my life, dwelling on the unfairness of it all. I knew intellectually that my fixation on the negative details of my past would lock me into a future I didn’t want.

However, the facts remained: I had gotten the house in the divorce, but that soon ended up a short-sale statistic. My “nest egg” netted out to be a big fat goose egg. As for spousal support, I  (stupidly) agreed to receive it for a finite period of time–even though I had been a stay at home mom for 18 years without having established a career prior to marrying. Of course I’ll be able to fast-track it to a successful career and a comfortable income for myself, I figured. Psych! The recession hit, grinding my progress–and any possibility  of rebuilding my bank account–to a screeching halt. I have to say that I honestly sometimes feel I’m being punished for having stayed home for nearly two decades to raise my children.

Yes, I wanted the divorce, so I had made my own (twin) bed. I could have decided to stay in my marriage where I felt financially secure, but that would have meant living without any emotional connection. I needed and deserved to feel heard, understood, appreciated and acknowledged; to be looked at in the eye by my husband, to feel cherished and adored. And I didn’t.

I also felt that he didn’t respect what I brought to the marriage and to our family because what I brought had no monetary value. While I didn’t contribute financially, I created our home and raised our two children to become loving, compassionate, inspiring human beings, and I couldn’t be more proud. Yet, in a short amount of time, as a 40-something year-old woman, I was under pressure to earn an income that took him an entire career to establish.

So yes, there are times when I’ve wanted to scream that it’s not #*&/- ing fair! And as the clock ticks closer and closer to the moment when my support lifeline will slip through my fingers, I worry that my vulnerability and fear will grow into a monster anchor keeping me immobile, or at the very least, from enjoying life.

It’s amazing how one little dream can cause such a sh*t storm. It’s also amazing how the universe, like Superman, knows exactly when and where to come to the rescue. This time it picked me up and put me back on my feet via cyberspace with a “random” message from Nora Ephron:

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”

“Yes!” I yelled out when I read this in an email. If I accept the role of victim, then I am essentially handing over my power to someone else and forfeiting my opportunity to experience joy and live to my full potential. Why the hell would I choose to do that?!

Then I looked up the definition of heroine: A woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for her brave deeds and noble qualities.

Most of us don’t realize how strong and capable we are. Too often we use our energy to fight against what is, instead of coming face to face with making it better. Once we can stop looking in the rear view mirror, we can start to take action toward beginning a new life.

Here are more lessons I learned along the way about what to stop doing–and what to start doing–in order to spring forward toward a more fulfilling life post-divorce:

Stop: worrying about the future. Focus and be present each day and the future will unfold.

Start: feeling gratitude. We’ve all heard that being grateful for what we have makes us feel better. Even more to the point, when you focus on and appreciate all that you have, you will receive more of what’s good in your life. What you focus on expands!

Stop: copying and pasting. We need to talk about what has happened to learn from it, vent, seek advice, or get a hug; but be careful that what happened to you doesn’t begin to define you. Share with a few chosen people, then label it ‘Past File’ and send to the archives.

Start: taking walks and longer showers. Honestly, this is when I have my best ideas. To help find the answers you seek, or to feel more at peace, give yourself the gift of taking a walk outside; or take an extra few minutes in the shower to relax. It works!

Stop: the limiting beliefs. Beware. Maneuver around these, or like quick sand they’ll keep you stuck, sinking into your fears.

Start: realizing that how you feel affects what happens. Think of ways to create positive feelings. This can be tough, and I’ll admit seemingly impossible at times, but the energy that our feelings produce and emit into the world will create a boomerang affect. What we throw comes back to us.

Start: focusing on what you do have. Yes, as opposed to what you don’t have, or don’t have anymore. You will receive more of what you want this way.

Stop: worrying about the ‘how.’ You can become so overwhelmed by not knowing how to accomplish what you want that you never try. Once you know what you want, the ‘how’ will happen. Baby steps. Fall down. Get back up. More baby steps. You did it as a toddler without thinking.

Start: stepping to the other side of your comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with comfort. However, if it becomes more of a ‘caution zone’ surrounded by yellow tape, it’s only preventing you from proceeding ahead.

Start: realizing it’s all how you look at something. I recently asked my 102-year-old grandma how she has gotten through all that she has in her life, and she told me, “Attitude is important. It runs your life.” Out of the mouths of the aged! We have a choice as to how we see things. We can either look at a situation as an adventure, and view the possible rocky terrain as a way of becoming more adept at conquering challenges, or we can see it as an overwhelming burden. Either way, you will be right.

Your life experience will depend on how you choose to think and how you choose to see things. The good news is you get to choose!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

This video really says it all…and then some! Prepare yourself!!

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With Appreciation and Gratitude,

Nancy

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