This blog is brought to you by my experience with a miserable, rude, nasty, angry old man who, for whatever reason, needed to verbally barf all over me two days in a row.

Allow me to explain. I deal with the public day in and day out in my day job. (Gotta have one until this makes me famous!). The other day, said man approached me saying he was in a rush, so I attempted to answer his questions post haste. But first, to be considerate of the woman waiting behind him, I informed her that I would be with her shortly. The man did not like this, and he began yelling at me, firing off accusations that I was rude, rushing him, and didn’t want to help him. The rest of his rant was a blur of white noise. All I saw was his angry face contorting in slow motion, and his eyes spewing venom. As he bolted away, the lady and I looked at each other and she said in astonishment,  “What is the matter with him, he was so rude to you!”

The next day he approached me again, and silly me, I figured he was coming to apologize! Instead, he began ‘Treating Nancy Like a Piece of Shit, The Sequel.’ He was pointing his finger in my face, telling me that I was rude to him and that he should have reported me. I told him I would be happy to assist him in doing so if he wished, which seemed to piss him off even more. Not gonna lie, that felt good.

For the most part, the people I meet are not argumentative manic assholes like this douche bag. (Did I just say that out loud?) Many are annoying, or have an obscene sense of entitlement, but his level of anger was disturbing and a little hard to shake.

It was then I remembered a blog I wrote a couple years ago for another publication, entitled, “The Moment Before.” I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I should read my own blogs so that I can do as I say and not as I sometimes do. So I went back into my documents, re-read it, and would like to share some of it with you. And to the jackass, I say, happy trails!

The Moment Before

We are all responsible for our thoughts and what we won’t let go of, but it’s the stuff that others so kindly unload on us that we have no control over. We do, however, have control over how we react, as I always tell my children. Whether it’s someone’s attitude, their lack of attention or their words, we have the choice as to how we react and whether or not we let it bother us.

This brings me to the concept of ‘the moment before.’ When in a situation where someone’s behavior takes you off guard, be they rude, irrational, angry, or somehow inappropriate, stop and think what may have happened to that person the moment before– the moment before they unloaded on you. Maybe someone upset them, or maybe they are stressed over something that has nothing to do with you. That moment of consideration may take your mind set from making it all about you, to what might be so distressing for this other person. This helps to create some compassion and could avoid making the situation worse.

For any of us, ‘the moment before’ can create our mindset for the rest of the day, week, or longer depending on how long we hold on to what occurred in that moment. If your boss approaches you rifling off all the things that are wrong and neglects to mention that you exceeded your goals, if family judgments become overbearing, if a client is miserable and has nothing but complaints, what do you do?

Three simple words: Let it go! Simple to say, not always so easy to do! I should know, I’m working on it myself and progress is slow…but sure.  All I can say is to remember that we don’t have control over others. They will not behave the way we would like them to, so we have a choice; we can adjust or stay upset.

Let it go, let it go, let it go. A good mantra I’d say.