Two of my lovely (younger) co-workers enjoy teasing me as often as possible whenever they make a reference to something that I don’t understand. They say, “Hash-tag Gen;” or to put it more correctly #Gen. This twitter tech talk implies that I am of a different generation, and do not understand what the hell they are talking about. Ouch! This especially hurts since I just celebrated another year to add to my resume of life experience.
Birthdays are to be celebrated. Each new wrinkle, unwanted hair, stiff joint, and achy muscle represents just how much life experience we have endured; they’re our medals for surviving the ride. A break in our heart, tear in a tendon, or a bulging disc may be additional aftermath that lay on our path of a well-seasoned life. However, on this road well traveled also lie stories of courage, intrigue, humor, and probably even romance.
Everyone has a story. However, in our society today, the older gens are often ignored. I remember after a social get-together, my Grandfather saying how he felt that no one cared to hear what he had to contribute to the conversation. He was frustrated that his wealth of wisdom went unappreciated, and he felt ignored and unimportant.
That something secondhand and broken still can make a pretty sound, Don’t we all deserve a family room to live? Oh, the words can’t stay unspoken until everyone has found, That Second-hand White Baby Grand, still has something beautiful to give. I still have something beautiful to give.–Second-Hand White Baby Grand Lyrics–Smash
In talking to seniors, feeling unimportant is quite a common sentiment. On a daily basis I meet many wonderful people (well, some are not so wonderful!). One day I met Ellen, a very sweet and wise older woman in her eighties. She was sitting by her lonesome with the sunset backlighting her gray hair, creating a bit of a halo affect. As I walked by, she looked at me as if she needed to talk. I wasn’t busy, so I sat beside her on the couch. She asked me her question, I answered it, and she thanked me profusely for taking the time to talk with her. She continued to say that usually younger people (I was sure she wasn’t including me!) don’t have the patience to listen to her, and they talk too fast.
The next day I saw her sitting in the same spot on the couch by herself and I sat down beside her once again. Her face lit up, and she began to tell me about her day’s adventures, which segued into her life adventures. She told me how she used to be a teacher tutoring kids who had learning issues, how her husband had passed away, and how she is keeping her teaching license current because ‘you never know.’ She continued, “Getting to know yourself isn’t easy and I wish I understood myself better when I was younger. If I had, I could have learned from my domineering mother-in-law instead of letting her trample over me. Men need desperately to understand their own self and others. Women and men hold hands in work and life. My parents had a beautiful 74 years of marriage. They always discussed things. He never dominantly said things. It’s so simple, isn’t it? Life is beautiful!”
Generally speaking, we don’t deal well with aging, with regard to ourselves or others. I think age actually has more to offer than it takes away. Perception, as always is key.
The question is not what you look at, but what you see. – Henry David Thoreau
So the next time a person older than yourself is around, maybe instead of looking at an older person, see all that they have experienced, and have yet to give. While there may be things we can no longer do as we get older, we need to focus on what we have to offer, and pursue what we weren’t able to do when we were younger. Perhaps now we can fulfill that dream or that passion we didn’t have time for before. Think about it.
Consult not your fears, but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in,but with what it is still possible for you to do. – Pope John XXIII
Dear Nancy, I felt like this blog about seniors and aging was addressed especially to me and other 88 year olds, and I have to say “thank you for saying we may have something to contribute that could be of value to the next generation.” I use to feel that folks who need advice probably won’t take it and other folks don’t need it. So let them figure things out for themselves. But now I feel that my generation does know a few things that could be of value. Should we venture to say those things or just hold back???
Living away from the city I have occasion to stop into many little country stores on my journeys around the Emerald Triangle of North Northern California and each one of these stores has a little old man in it and he tells tales and brings me up to speed with the goings on about these parts and each one of these little old men is younger than I am…I hate that.
I would share your stories Polly. Your experiences are opportunities from which others can learn!
George: Time goes by and all of a sudden your kids are the same age you were when you got married. I took care of my parents and now my daughter is taking care of me. As long as they listen to me while I’m alive I’m happy. You have to enjoy each stage of life while you’re in it.